Break up finally !!! It will be good for us , I know that , but , still can't accept it !! Since ........... I still love him by heart so much !!

Want to phone him , but , I'm afraid he will say something bad to me ............... I'm totally dead !!! Want to cry out loudly but , can't ..... cos , I'm having night shift now ....... ...... !!

Give out eveything u have by heart but get back these kind of results , what can I do afterwards ? Am I so bad that no one willing to love me I'm so crazy thinking that if he really want to play , I will let him go and wait home , do all the housework so that he can feel comfortable home !! No need to worry about HOME !!! But , my point is wrong !! TOTALLY WRONG !!! What he need is "fresh feeling " , which I can't give him after these years !! Even though when he ask me to cut off my hair just because he like that , I go and did it !! What kind of person I am Who am I now His housekeeper who help him to settle all the problem and let him to have time to play outside ??

What should I do ? What can I do ? Which road can I choose to walk again ??

Can i have a day to cry out loudly ma ???!!!!!I'm so sad that I really want to die now !!!

I've not been in here for a while , how are u all ??

Me well , still being unhappy with him , but still don't want to leave him !! Hahahah , who am I I should love myself right ?? !!! I still want to wait for him .. CRAZY MIND !!!! ai .................... pls , send someone to safe me !!!! Pls pls !!!

I think that he already " back to normal " for almost 2 months , but that is what " I think " only !!

I've found that yesterday again that , he still like that and getting more and more !! I feel really really sad !! Many questions comes to my mind that I want to ask him at once !! But I know that once I ask " Questions " , we will 吵 again ..... so .... I just ask myself shut up !!!

Is that my fault that makes him do all these to me Or , all men are like that

For him  , who am I actually GF ? Housekeeper Or just a person who can be with him whenever he feel boring ??

Sad ... reallly really sad........ What happen to me and what happen to him ?

What should i do ? I have a plan long time ago , but I want to wait , wait for his change , wait for his love to me agian , but , should I still waiting for him Will it be better for both of us that I leave ASAP Oh  God , what should I do Pls , pls help me !! I feel really really sad ............very very sad !!!!!

Well, i'm having my shift duty for almost 7 years la , but , these days , feel really really stress , so , can't sleep law !!
All about my study , my work , and my relationship with him ......... hope that i can pass through all these soon !!!

THANKS U GUYS ALL !!!!!

Can't sleep @ night time for almost 1 week already la !! This really really make me feel not very well !!

I can sleep , but not at night , is at day time once I've off my duty , I can  sleep at once , but how come I can't sleep during night time even I really really feel tired ??

Should I try some sleeping pills ???

How come every place are like that Why people can be so BLACK HEART ? For what purpose No benefit ar , why then just for FUN ??

They can treat her like that now ....... that means they will treat me like that later also !! So , I should do something now , can let them just like that , thinking that they are the KING of here ..... REALLY !! I need to do something !! Need to do something for her , for me , and for ENs !!!!

Pay for me !!!!! For the new battle here !!!! PAY FOR ME , PAY FOR US !!!!

Happened again !!! ACUTE DEPRESSION !!!

What should I do Am I really feel upset because of our relationship Or , just because of the weather , workload , and the hard study ???

Will my bad temper affect our relationship and make it more worse ??

What should I do now What can I do now ?

My study , monthly homework , daily shift duty , housework had made me used up all my time , no more time to play ( no $$ also ) , no more time to rest ! Even I want to find sometime to do a part-time job to earn more money , I've found that I didn't have any extra time and energy !!! ar.................... need to pay the course fee again la , if no time to have the part-time , then , I won't have enough $$ to pay the fee ga la ..............ai............ !!!